Boxers (Captain: Anthony D'Errico)
Offensive MVP: Tim Oeljeschlager
Defensive MVP: Daniel Miller, Jaime Baez, and Mark Bey
So back to another season of Spring football in the NYGFL and the first week’s matchup saw a reunion of the Golden Girls. Well, the NYGFL version- Sean Simpson’s (also known as Dorothy “Show us your" Zbornak ) Team Stonewall pitted against Team Boxers captained by Anthony D’Errico (the league’s very own Blanche “Goosey Loosey” Devereaux). Having won the coin toss, the season looked promising for Team Boxers as they started on defense. Team Stonewall managed to score on its opening drive but couldn’t convert for the extra point. Team Boxers managed to score as well where returning hottie quarterback, Dom Mangine, connected with Anthony to score the team’s first touchdown of the season. This left his team like:
As for the rest of the game, there was no clear momentum for either team. Team Boxers’ defense managed to bring the pressure with some key sacks from Daniel Miller and Mangine; however, Stonewall managed to score before the half to go up 18-13. The second half was more a defensive battle until Tim Oeljeschlager’s late game touchdown to bring Boxers within 5, but it was not enough for the team to come out on top with its first victory of the season. By the end, the team captain was like Blanche Devereaux after one of Dorothy’s back-handed compliments:
A fun time was had afterward for some quality team bonding (thanks Jonathan for hosting!). Even though we didn’t come away with a win, I am really looking forward to the rest of the season with such an amazing group of talented and fun guys! #HusbandDick Good luck to Sean and team Stonewall for the rest of the season. I always enjoy our friendly rivalry and shade throwing, but I’m looking forward even more to our rematch in the playoffs where this will happen to your championship-seeking balloon:
Bottoms Up (Captain: Michael Castor)
Offensive MVP: Bryan Mullen
Defensive MVP: Kyaire Wynn
It was quite nippy under the late-night lights at Pier 40, but the Bottoms came ready to play against a DBL squad that's stacked with talent. It was a competitive game throughout, but we were able to pull away from a halftime tie to take home the week 1 W. QB Bryan Mullen consistently threw for big gains, throwing 3 TDs (a fourth dropped by yours truly) and no picks to earn offensive MVP. Joe White and newbie Stephen Fernandez did a great job giving him time against that feisty DBL twink--err, captain--with the grizzled vet Joe notching a TD after a classic Alon spin move... 
Ky took home DMVP honors with great coverage all game and a nifty interception when he read the play and jumped the route to set the Bottoms up with great field position. Other notes: Rookie Jamie Nowik made his NYGFL debut and shined with a handful of catches and feisty defense. Dan Dimant and Kurt Andrews got consistent pressure and kept containment on the speedy David Tawil, with Kurt getting the Bottoms' first sack on the final play of the game. Steve Rubin and Nick Pei were their typical lockdown selves on defense. Nick had a nice INT as well but it was called back by a roughing the passer penalty by Dimant who was all rough and tough like... 
Thanks for a fun and competitive game to DBL (and props for the trendy looks with Twan's makeup, Tawil's crop top, Curley's skirt, all the hats...). Good luck the rest of the way-- I'm sure we'll see you in the playoffs!
DBL (Captain: Regan McKendry)
Offensive MVP: Twan
Defensive MVP: Gus
The Daddies, Boys, and LeGrett (we'll let you figure out who falls into which group) took the field Saturday night to start the spring season. The entire team was on hand, something the Captain was definitely not accustomed to seeing.
DBL took the ball and QB David Tawil marched the team down the field for the first score. Initially it was a touchdown to Andrew, but a wardrobe malfunction called the play back. On the redo, Mark came down with the score. Bottoms Up answered right back and continued to put the pressure on. Enter Gus into the game with some much needed energy and motivation to the rest of the defensive front.
A second score was had later in the game by blocker extraordinaire Twan, but it wasn't enough to catch up to Castor's team as DBL ran out of time. Great effort by everyone and a special welcome to Chris and Christian in their first ever NYGFL games. Can't wait for an amazing season with all y'all.
Eagle (Captain: James Riedel)
Offensive MVP: Denis Sosnotsev
Defensive MVP: Matt Drezdzen
First NYGFL Touchdown: Tommy Cullen
The Rosebuds of Eagle turned it OUT on Saturday night winning by a score of 39-7 over Rise bar. It was a complete team effort with everyone contributing either offensively or defensively to the victory. Josh Mattly and Jeff Levin provided great blocking, allowing QB James Riedel’s Rosebuds to open up down field and score on every offensive drive.
Scoring TD’s for Eagle were Joe Beckwith, Denis Sosnotsev (2), James Riedel (2), and rookie Tommy Cullen! Great lockdown defense was played by rookie Aaron Escamilla and Tyler Morton. While Matt Dresden and Rookies Alex Pelliccionne & Juan Carlos Alvarez kept Rise QB under pressure all night.
Shoutout to my hubby Vinny whose good looks kept the Rise defense distracted all night.
Best of luck to Jamar and team Rise Bar in the remainder of the season.
Flaming Saddles (Captain: Steven Tedaldi)
Offensive MVP: Robbie Macaraeg & Ricky Zia
Defensive MVP: Nathanson & Co.
Week #1 matched up the Gay Trippers vs. the train wreck, better known as Flaming Saddles...
.
Will Morales had her lady-boys ready to throw down against the undermanned Flamers.... and it came down to the final play of the game, as the tweakers, eeek'd out a 25-6? victory.
Shoutouts to Will and her squad, it's always a blast to play against you! I even think I saw Frank Rossi crack a smile.
I tried to prepare my team, (many of who were in diapers last time Tall Paul played) about his on-field abilities.... but after dropping 3 passes (felt like 4), he proved me wrong and left my team scratching their heads.
Flaming shoutouts to Robbie & Ricky with some great catches. John Balash... well... for being John Balash.... Andy Fouche with solid play on both sides of the ball, he proved his "versatility".... Ryan Lucas for "bringing the energy" to say the least... You were great in your first game! Mikki for being non-existent ...and "My rookie" Glitter! ...who shines regardless of what she's doing!
....and a special blast to Matt Nathanson! The Gay Trippers couldn't control him... WE couldn't control him! His 8 sacks were magical and his 3 roughing the passer penalties surpassed Tim Hughes' previous record.
Justin Friedman.... is this your leg in my equipment bag?
Until next week ladies.....
Gay Trippers (Captain: Will Morales)
Offensive MVP: The Justins
Defensive MVP: Ross Preseault
A week one match-up against Nana Tedaldi's team was always gonna be messy fun, and having Frank Rossi as our ref just made things all the more "exciting". The Trippers came out slinging with Justin Friedman (J#1) throwing a 35 yard bomb to Ross to get the ball rolling. Ross wasn't the only one feeling the love though as J#1 made sure to spray some of his lovin' onto all of his receivers. Johnny, Norman and Terrell all slurped up the love-juice greedily and made great catches. Justin Hess (J#2) was running mad, including a 60 yard catch-and-dance into the end zone.
On defense, Ross and Paul were solid up the middle (what a cute couple right?) while linebackers Courtney, Norman and Terrell locked down the wings. It's an unspoken team secret that Fred "Hollywood" Jones has always had the hots for Tedaldi (he's really jealous of Ricky), and he was particularly frisky in chasing down Nana Tedald's juicy a** all night.
Shout-out as well to our lone rookie Justin Covington (J#3) for a great game under center in his first NYGFL game! Great work team Gay Trippers and best of luck to the Flammers for the rest of the season!
Gym Bar (Captain: Kevin Hagen)
Offensive MVP: Deej Johnson
Defensive MVP: Alfredo Dumalsen/Josh Howatt
We had a bit of a rocky first game but had a great time doing it and showed some serious potential. With two rookies starting at linebacker (both mvps) we held Hibernia to a fourth down on their first drive playing some strong D but were unable to hold them on fourth and gave up the early td. My first drive as QB went about what you would expect from a first timer, a little quick. Hibernia took advantage of a short field with another score. We followed that up with an interception on fourth down that pushed Hibernia down the field. Josh Howatt put an end to Hibernia’s ensuing drive with his very first NYGFL interception.
We took the field at the two minute warning with a chance to pull within one score. Then we ran out of time. Turns out all those emails about the first half timing changes were not an elaborate practical joke. Who knew?
Reinforcements arrived at halftime as Darren forced his way through TSA checkpoints and St. Patrick’s day traffic to make sure he made it to the first game of the season. Very well done Darren.
We began the second half by taking a shot deep. It was intercepted. Followed by allowing a pair of scores. In danger of being mercy ruled we finally found our footing on offense. We pulled off a 4th and 10 conversion with a crossing rout to Deej Johnson, extending a drive that resulted in a fourth down touchdown to Deej Johnson and was capped off with a two point conversion by Deej Johnson.
I want to give a shout out to all of our rookies, Josh Howatt snagged his first pick, Josh Podolsky would have had a long td had I not overthrown him, and Alfredo Dumalsen for locking down his zone. Congrats on playing in your first NYGFL game!
Also thanks to Kevin Lesser for providing cookies.
Post game we had a pizza party accompanied by a brief discussion on some of our favorite adult toys, which I’m confident will yield some positive results on the field next week. Look out NYGFL. This team has got great chemistry and we’re going to have a lot of fun this season.
Good game Hibernia. See you next week Mickey Spillane’s.
Hardware (Captain: Tony McDonald)
Offensive MVP: Monty Clinton
Defensive MVP: "Elfie" Picarelli
First NYGFL Touchdown: Monty ClintonQuite the weekend for Hardware, we won our first game, Monty Clinton got his first NYGFL touchdown, two missed flights Sunday morning, and 4 people called out of work Monday from Sunday Funday. Way to go guys! If the games are canceled from this massive snow storm Wednesday, it is probably for the best we all take a weekend off and regroup.
Hibernia (Captain: Alon Hacohen)
Offensive MVP: Mike S
Defensive MVP: Chris G
Great all around effort by the Hibernians (Hibernicons? Hibersonians? I'm sure we'll sort it out by week 8). Four different players scored a touchdown in Hibernia's first ever NYGFL game to help propel us to a chilly victory. Great game by the boys at gym bar and an excellent start to the spring season!
Industry (Captain: Dan Castiglione)
Offensive MVP: David Vainchenker
Defensive MVP: Jeremy Grompone
In our first game of the season, Team SINdustry came to play! Having only 8 players, everyone played their little hearts out and still had a great time doing so! Huge shoutouts to QB David Vainchenker and the incomparable, ladies headband wearing Mark Caruso for playing a fantastic game on Offense with Mark scoring twice and making MULTIPLE receptions! Also, the newly curvalicious DJ Davids scored once as well!
On defense, babushka Jeremy (Jerry) Grampone was snatching flags left and right showing that he is a masc dom top...on the field. Huge props to the fabulous Ricky Logan, for showing up despite the fact that he was a little under the weather and playing a great game! Devonta White and Joe Marino also played a great game on both sides of the ball showing each making some fantastic plays!
I'm really looking forward to the rest of this season with such a great group of guys. Good luck to first time captain Jovanni and the rest of his Mr. Biggs team the rest of the season! This week, we are looking ahead to take on James Riedel and his Eagle squad!
XOXO
Mickey Spillane's (Captian: Nick Avitabile)
Offensive MVP: Matt Rosenberg
Defensive MVP: Lou Cicatelli
Team Mickey was sooooo excited to play this game, as at least half the team is second-seasoners. Many people played out of position but everyone learned a lot and had fun! Newly-starting QB Terrell connected well with Matt Rosenberg, who made his hot debut at WR.
Much thanks to Jordan, Louis, Nate, James, and everyone else who played new positions. Looking forward to Week 2!
Good job to Tony and the rest of Hardware. Mr. Biggs (Captain: Jovanni Molina)
Offensive MVP: The whole offenceDefensive MVP: Eric Shull
Starting the game on offense the big and sexy Biggs marched down the field and scored the game's first touchdown to Stephan. So on defense Industry moved the ball down the field and scored. Back on offense we going to march back down the field and quarterback Jovanni threw another touchdown to one of his Rebel teammates Dr. Kris Burrell. Stephan and Keenan came up bigg on Defense with two big Interceptions and after being put on the team a day before the game rookie Eric Shull came in Biggs for a sack on Industry's quarterback. Bryan Greene and Keenan Kline scored touchdowns for the team. A Bigg shoutout to Frank and Jackie with key catches for the team. Good game to Industry and captain Dan C
Rise (Captain: Jamar Wilson)
Offensive MVP: Tye Javorek
Defensive MVP: N/A
Well, we won't be going 8-0, this season. Play of the game was Tye turning a two and out into a 45 yard TD pass after some great blocks.
Stonewall (Captain: Sean Simpson)
Offensive MVP: Eric and Colin
Defensive MVP: Colin
First NYGFL Touchdown: David H
Even though Mother Nature did not get the memo that it's time for warmer temperatures, the Stonewall Skinny Butches took to the field on Saturday night against Tsunami Anthony and the rest of the Boxers team and the return of longtime great QB Dom. It should have been made the 11 pm news, but
The coin toss was won by Boxers, so they started on defense which resulted in good news for Stonewall. Even with a couple of hiccups along the way, Stonewall QB Eric marched the team down the field finding Thirst Trap member Colin for the first of two TD catches in the half. After a failed extra point (a theme for Stonewall during the evening), Stonewall was up 6-0.
Boxers then proceeded to march itself down the field in the opposite direction and on a bit of a broken play, Dom scrambled before throwing to captain Anthony who backed into the end zone for the touchdown. She then suggested to the team that they should
which made no sense at all. Instead, they decided to score on the extra point to take a 7-6 lead. Stonewall wasted no time and marched back down the field with Eric hitting Colin again giving Stonewall the lead at 12-7. The Stonewall defense made a big stop late in the first half, getting the ball back with precious little time allowing Eric to throw a long bomb. Instead of knocking it down, Dom went up and intercepted the pass, but Colin was right there to pull his flag preventing the runback and the teams went into the break at 12-7.
Both teams were forced to punt on their first drive in the second half before Boxers scored to take a 13-12 lead. However, Eric swiftly moved the team down the field and found rookie David H for what should have been his first NYGFL touchdown, only for the referees to rule that it was actually a sack first. No problem - Eric called the same play again and found David again for his real first NYGFL touchdown and an 18-13 lead.
Then we had the defense play of the game as Colin intercepted a Dom pass giving all the momentum to Stonewall. A few plays later, Eric found Fall 2017 blocker of the season Quincey who snuck into the end zone and gave Stonewall a 24-13 lead.
While Boxers did score late making it 24-19, all Stonewall needed to do was get one first down to run out the clock and a couple of well executed pitches got the job done. Great job by all of the Skinny Butches, especially rookies David H and Julio, who was tasked with rushing Dom in his first game in the league. Great game Boxers! But your team cheer. Hmm.
After the game, the entire team went to Gym Bar, where the downstairs area by about 11:30 was like
although I suspect that most of the league does like that level of intimacy.
Wait - are you telling me that St. Patrick's Day isn't a celebration of famed British actress Patricia Routledge? Sorry, my bad.